Simple Moments

There are so many simple moments through out our childrens lives that we as parents never really pay attention to. When raising a special needs child those moments no longer exist, there are no more simple moments every moment is compicated and unexpected. The things that are old hat to most children become anxiety filled tests of perserverence for the special needs child. Everything from flushing the toilet to going out in public causes tears and major drama.

My oldest daughter has PDD-NOS a type of autism...do you know how many years it took me to be able to say that statement without crying? How many sleepless nights I spent trying to figure out how to solve her latest anxiety inducing incident? It honestly took me 6mths of constant work to get her to simply step into a public bathroom stall alone let alone go potty and flush the toilet on her own that took several more months and several relapses all while her peers had long ago mastered the skill.

Today though we had a rare moment, a moment where she was able to experience what normal childhood should be. Today my daughter ran off ahead of me with her friend, shared a chocolate bar and giggled as they ran in the grass. For most of you this would be a moment of annoyance that they had run off, or that they were going to ruin their dinner but for me it was a huge milestone.

My child who has been glued to my side in a panic while in public actually ran off without me with only a few fearful looks thrown over her shoulder every now and then to make sure I was still following. My child who can not eat 90% of foods because the texture makes her vomit shared food with her friend. My child who couldn't stand the texture of grass for the longest time was running in the grass.

Now it may have been a simple moment for most other children but to us it was a very rare moment in time where she was able to glimpse a normal childhood. I as a mother can only hope that this is the beginning of some independence and self reliance while at the same time struggling with the thought that my child who has needed me more than most may actually be growing up. *sniff*